Its seems like I blinked and this year already halfway over. Since last year, nothing good ever happened in my life. Until I met this one perfect guy, I mean perfect which Im defining him, he completes me in every way. I supposed that should be a good sign for me, though, because when things arent going well, time seems to drag on endlessly. Well, my dear asii, if you ever read this one day, please know that Im sincerely telling you that I love you. Like, love you so much ahaha.

Oh well,

  There's a really beautiful sentiment that has popped into my mind more than once since then. About me, myself. When I think of all the time I spent thinking about the past or worrying about the future, it makes me stop and consider how much effort Im giving to the now? How often am I completely present in the moment? But sadly, NOT VERY OFTEN. I wasted a lot. The amount of time I spend thinking about things that have already happened or things that I need to do is staggering. Its also mostly pointless. But lucky enough, I had my lucky charms, mum and dad, friends, and you my love. Considering them always be my side within my ups and down, so Ive started trying to notice more of the that are great about right now.

  I, recently had a lot of issues with my body weight and size. Its kinda frustrating when people keep telling you that you're ugly (but in a good way) which lowered my self-esteem down  to the six feet under. Sometimes, I wish miracles could happen in a night, where I wake up in the morning with Megan Fox body. Gahhhh~ But, miracles is just another for HARDWORK.

  Past few weeks I started my gym sessions with boo. And Im still under progression for now. Its really hard when you had mind over matter issues. I pushed myself way over to the limit with all the machines, but still I cant control my meals. Which is, it sucksss. But, know what, if Im not doing it now, when will I ever change? So, I decided to challenge this fat version of mine to cut off all the junks if I wanna achieved my target. It might not be easy as it said, but there's never harm in trying. :)

  So today, I take a short trip to Gunung Emas with dad. When Im in the car, I roll the windows down to feel the wind passes by face and in my hair. Turn the music up. I think about the lyrics and listen to the ryhthm , melodies and instruments. Peace of mind I must say. Its been so long I felt this way. There's moment I glance at Dad. That old man, getting old, those wrinkles on his forehead, his eyes, his hand. I love this old man to the moon and back, and I wish he can live up to thousand years. I know I will always be his favorite baby girl. And we shared so many things. He's my best friend, my Dad, and my hero. I might leave him to be with my prince someday, but above all he'll always be my King. Those little moments we shared are some of the best part of my life, and I dont want to miss out on them.

 See, thing is..
  Most days, Im so ridiculously happy and it can be sickening sometimes, haha. But when Im not, its because I;ve gotten lost in my head. But, despite everything I had, now I've a new therapist who is wonderful, and I feel like I'm actually working toward something again instead of just chatting with a friend and it makes me feels alive more than ever. Thanks babe. You know who you are. :)

All in all, life is fantastic. Just fantastic, awesome, and fucking great.
I cant think of a time when I've felt more content and fulfilled and loved like now.
 
                                                                                                         Much Love, Amyviverlyn